Narcissistic parents: What are their characteristics, and how do they affect the child?
Psychotherapist Marina Moscow writes about the narcissistic parent. What are its characteristics? The reason for the special...
Narcissism is a personality disorder that makes it difficult for the person to adapt to his environment and to create close emotional relationships since the object of his love and desire is none other than himself! But what happens when a parent is a narcissist? Does this have consequences for his children growing up and how they will feel as adults tomorrow?
Usually, the answer is yes. Children who grow up with a narcissistic parent—either a mother or father—feel like they're not doing anything right, as the narcissistic parent blames them for all the bad things in the world, making them feel like they're to blame for everything. It is a fact that the narcissist never recognizes anything positive in those around him since only he can do everything so perfectly! He cannot stand by his children's concerns, nor can he "listen" to them, since he is constantly talking to himself and "demanding" listening from others, whether consciously or not.
He is the one who, whatever the child says to him, will turn it on himself, proving for the thousandth time how good and awesome he is!
He is the one who is indifferent to the needs of others, and many times he becomes manipulative in order to collect their care himself without being able to give back his own.
He is the one who can receive admiration in public, but at home, he can be very harsh and demanding.
He is the one who does not care about "who you are" but about "what you do and what you achieve". A classic example is the perfectionism he demands from his child; he is only happy with his 20s; anything below that is unacceptable! How can such a brilliant parent have a mediocre child of 18?
He is the one who puts aside childish feelings, often neglecting children's needs and projecting only his own feelings and needs.
Finally, he is the one who thinks that the whole world revolves around him and is there for others when he needs them!
How is it treated?
It is not easy for the narcissistic parent to tame their narcissism since they cannot see that it is problematic. Fortunately, however, within the framework of the disorder, there are few people. Most people have narcissistic elements in their everyday lives, which if someone they count on shows them or if they themselves understand that they are becoming problematic, they can soften with internal psychotherapeutic work.
So if you have a narcissist in your family or if you recognize elements of your own, you need to see what you can do to avoid raising troubled children who will be desperate for the acceptance, love, tenderness, and affection they have been missing since childhood. their age but also not to make "toxic" relationships for them in their search…